On my personal spiritual journey I have always been looking for ways to connect with the land where I live, and the spirits that dwell here, in the desert Southwest. Many neo-pagan paths are grounded in the seasons and natural aspects of Northern Europe, working with spirits from those lands, a long way away from here.
And so I read something about the “Places of Vision” pilgrimage to sacred sites near Santa Fe, New Mexico with my Apache teacher Maria Yraceburu and community, and I no longer remember what I read, but it was one of those moments when I knew I had to go! And I didn’t know how it was supposed to happen. But within days of dreaming about it, everything lined up, and the money was there. Sure I could have done the responsible thing and paid down the debt and bills … but I thought to myself, the bills will always be there, this is a one-time thing! And with my husband’s blessing I set out to go on pilgrimage.
In preparation for our pilgrimage we were told to go on a day quest. That’s right, this wasn’t a casual sight-seeing vacation, we pilgrims had homework! We were to go out and be on mother … spend a day isolated in nature, seeking vision. Devoting time to sit in stillness, give offerings, and ask questions about our task before us, watch for signs of confirmation. We were to bring a friend to serve as guardian to attend to our needs, watch for signs, and keep people away if need be.
I always try not to hold expectations
My day quest didn’t go anything like what I expected. It was very difficult to find a secluded a spot, I asked around, I even hiked one location ahead of time to scout out a spot with no luck. Running short on time, I decided to go with my guardian’s suggestion of Los Penasquitos Canyon Preserve. Everyone I mentioned it to, said there probably wouldn’t be anyone there on a weekday. I felt the need to be near water and there’s a stream that runs through it. From what I had heard about the place I was expecting we’d hike maybe an hour in and be able to find a place next to the stream, off the trail, and be fairly secluded.
After much scrambling and crawling through bushes and trees, we dead-ended at many a wall of poison oak. It was EVERYWHERE. It was certainly an adventure, and we encountered so much wildlife it’s difficult to recall everything … lizards, birds, squirrel, insects, spiders, blue dragonflies, something dog-sized (never saw what it was, but coyote and raccoon crossed my mind)…. 
Approximately three hours, two unconfirmed spots that didn’t grab me, and 4 miles later (Ugh! For those that don’t know me, that’s a LOT of hiking for me!), we ended up at the top of the waterfall. We needed to rest, so off the shoes came and we waded around in a small pool surrounded by massive volcanic rocks, next to a short waterfall, above a tall waterfall. I stood in a little section of ‘beach’ shaded by a boulder, and it suddenly felt right. Just as I muscle tested ‘yes’ a bee decided to join me. Bees represent community. Now that’s a sign even I can’t ignore. Later that night I read my guardian’s notes, “When I came down and sat in the water I knew that this was a sanctuary … Jennifer decided this was the spot.”
The bee hung out for a while, soon there were two bees. Large blue/grey dragonflies were chasing each other all over the whole time we were there. Hikers began showing up, although no one directly bothered me and I couldn’t hear much above the sound of rushing water, I did my best to ignore them and tried not to be annoyed–thinking this was ‘the spot’ so maybe they’ll go away. I spent some time consciously unwinding, relaxing, and connecting with the earth. I don’t know if I fell asleep or dropped into deep trance–it was one of those times when it didn’t seem like I fell asleep. At some point I snapped back into consciousness. I distinctly received the message, “there shall be no questions today.” I thought, really? Can I get confirmation on that? And in an instant a couple more hikers came scrambling down the rocks and sat on rocks about 5-6 feet from me. My guardian had written, “A son and father came very close, but I did not say anything this time, I heard Spirit say it’s okay. This is a symbol of family, this shows the love of father & son.” I was told I could ask questions when I do my daily meditation in the park three blocks from my home (which I haven’t been diligent about doing lately) over the coming week.
I decided to make the best of the day connecting with nature, just BE-ing. I began to explore the pool–this was one of my favorite things to do as a child, explore creeks and rivers, wading, crawling over rocks–which was reserved for summer camping trips as I grew up in the low desert. I waded across intending to lean on a rock to look over the tall waterfall and nearly stepped on a crawdad. We stood there staring at each other (he was trying to back into a rock), and then I began to see more. I sat on the rock and lost count of how many there were (while trying to figure out how I was going to get back across the pool!). The largest one was maybe 6-7 inches altogether, with pinchers about as big as its body. Later I managed to wade over to a large, sloped rock in the middle of the pool and lounged on it for a while, feeling its warmth, taking in my surroundings.
The return hike only took two hours
We were exhausted and dizzy, and it was a good day for both of us. My guardian had written about how there were two boys playing in the pool above us, and she began to observe the people as the creatures that were drawn to this watering hole, rather than treating them as intrusions. She saw me standing in the center of the pool gazing down into the water and cracked open Maria Yraceburu’s book Legends and Prophesies of the Quero Apache and read, “Child of Water and the Origin of Healing” and decided to read a bit of it. “Perhaps the following story will assist you in remembering the eternal link that binds us all, and the infinite source of healing. The people had begun to forget that they were one, All Our Relations.”
Reflecting back, I think I was trying too hard to find a secluded spot, to get away from people. The day became easy once I decided to just be, be childlike, and energetically invite the hikers into my experience rather than treating them as distractions. It’s all about family–family of spirit, humanity coming together, and remembering I am a child of the sacred parents, Mother Earth and Father Sky. Remembering that we are All Our Relations. I am part of a larger whole and we must learn to live in harmony, walk this earth together.
So I guess it should have come as no surprise when we were informed that this pilgrimage would be about bridging community, and part of our role would be to ‘pray rain’ bringing water back to the desert Southwest with a water blessing and offering ceremony. This would be carried out with the coming together of the Hawaiian and Southwest Natives, simultaneously fulfilling an old puebloan Water Prophecy as confirmed by elders of the Hopi and Jemez.
And the adventure was just getting started…
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